Q & A

I asked a whore

If she enjoyed her work

She said the question was a bore

And would I please sheath my dirk

I asked an actress

If she’d learnt her line

She said no need to stress

And to send my dwarf into the mine

I asked a naked nun

If she got married to spite us

She said Gods will shall be done

And no it was simply to spite Gus

I asked a murderess

If she found it cleansing

She said lifes the butcher

And the candle maker killed all feeling

I asked the maid

For a sweet romantic song

She sighed she was afraid

Then she giggled at my dong

I asked a waitress

For a bottle of gin

She delivered my penance

And never asked for what sin

I asked a witch

If she knew good from evil

She just emptied out the flour

And stomped on every single weevil

I asked a seamstress

If she’d cloth me in splendour

She cut me into ribbons for her dress

And whispered a rebuke with candour

I asked a diva

If for me she could reach her highest note

She did

And this is a deaf mans gloat

I asked a nurse

If forgiveness was the cure

She said she had no pills

That could make her that sure

I asked a ballerina

If she aspired to play Cinderella

She said the matadors in the arena

As she practiced downing the wine cellar

I asked a fair maiden

If all her knights had turned to rust

She said yes from all their tears

When she refused them her bust

I asked eve

If she accepted the blame

She cut the snake head off

With a sword of flame

I asked a queen

If she’d pardon me

She said I’d still lose my head

But after I could set myself free

I asked a wife

If she felt like a slave

She said only to culture norms

Dragging her back to their cave

I asked a wise woman

How do I find love

She said first you must give

Then upon a ledger she gave me a shove

I asked the school mistress

Why she never taught forgiveness

She said are you humble

Is your soul the picture of neatness

I asked a nympho

If she had a desire

She said to be a mother

And have a prize winning sire

I asked the mermaid

If she’d save me from drowning

She said first remove her fishnet

And for my sake I should stop frowning

I asked Hel

if to her I was betrothed

never ask about the tolling bell

her laughter reverberates

and I’m buried in Hell

©bg 2010


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