The effects of my pudding

I once ate clouds

and rainbow pudding

my farts were like thunder

and my burps tasted

like drops of acid rain

and if I followed the arc

of my urinebow

I’d find a bowl of gold

© bg 2010

 

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My action that saved your life

as i did scarper

 your bedchamber

via

 the sprung trap door

i glanced back

at you asleep

protected from the cold

between your flannel sheets

and

i had the most painful notion

that i was in love with you

for i felt  as if

i had just won

one million dollars

then i remembered

i had never won a million dollars

so how the hell

could i know how love feels

  • Now
  • i don’t expect a letter of thanks

but in truth i saved your life

’cause sooner

 rather than later

i would have upset you

then you would have eaten

22 pounds of chocolate

and died 

©bg 2012

The hunters coming for me skin

The hunter is coming for me skin 

Ì’ve seen his wrinkle deformed shadow

Tracking me in the burnt mirrors smoke

I’ve smelt his parched foul breathe 

When from the nurturing grave I’ve awoke

I know the lone hunter is stalking  me bones 

Expecting  I’ll soon act like a rabid dog drunk 

The darkness cloaks his growing presence 

The light revels only that we are blind 

My corpse his embalming  essence 

I’ve never been afraid of the vast unknown 

Where only boggie mens  gods haunt realms

I’ve always ignored  the purist  feeding 

At the bottom of a raised up wishing well

Where aborted fetuses  lament breeding 

I  dug so deep I found myself upon the surface

The hunter shadowed  me down my wells ladder

Upon the crust I met no devil or clever fiend

I only found what the gods failed to suckle

I only found where the gods fetuses were weaned 

And the hunter sat at a bus stop waiting 

And the hunter sat at a cafe anticipating 

And the hunter took a selfie while contemplating

They said it was suicide 

But the hunter just found himself commensurating 

In the end 

© bg 2015

In search of the stone blue dragon

in the middle of the night

when the boogie man gives fright

dressed as a scary red hair clown

in a suit that is smelly pooh brown

i left my tiny little house

with my friend  little mouse

in search of a stone blue dragon

to capture his drool in my silver flagon

along the road we travelled with speed

causing the parked cars to stampede

to the left to the right

dodging cars that weren’t too bright 

suddenly all stopped because of a red light

we waited and waited

as the pinky inky ants skated

round and round in a figure eight

horns tooted

and hooted

i clapped

little mouse’s tail in joy slapped

then the pinky inky ants bowed

to the applauding crowd

then of they all did skate

down the storm water grate

then the lights turned green

and little mouse and i exited the scene

the next time we stopped was by a tree

yes you guessed it, i needed to pee

when i came back from taking a leak

things for little mouse were looking bleak

for a rather clever nimble cat

who was disguised as a fury bat

had stolen my friend little mouse

i yelled “come back with my mouse you louse”

but that shameless cat didn’t look back

but i saw that cat run into a shack

so i pulled out my aquatic gun

loaded with snail slime and set to stun

i bowled on up to that rustic shacks door

ready and steady for some sort of WAR

i knocked very loudly and rung the bell

“please open this door” i did politely yell

the door flung itself open against the wall

begging “please don’t yell & hit me anymore

i’m just a tree transformed into a door

by an evil one eyed fairy named Ms Hammer

who was brought up in the witches slammer”

i asked “have you seen a mouse and a cat”

“i did “squeaked the tattered welcome mat

“where did they go” i asked all in the room

“that cat flew away on the  crooked broom

i know that cat he’s a dirty rotten louse

he’ll probably devour your timid mouse”

i desperately asked “how shall i catch them”

“why by the light of a moon beam

and the left over dust of a lucky dream

but step on my back i’m a flying guru mat

who’ll help you catch that villainous cat”

“thanks” i gratefully said stepping aboard

then into the cool night air we soared

flying ever soooo wickedly  high

why my mouth became very dry

we swooped and scooped

in my pants i nearly pooped

then as the mat had vowed and spoken

before the new day by a voodoo rooster was broken

by the light of a moon beam and my magical height

my eye caught that mouse rustling cat in my guns sight

blat blat blat went my aquatic gun

dispersing  snail slime by the ton

our aim was good and true

just like the path we flew

and soon that mousenapping cat

covered in snail slime splat

crashed into a giants trees toe

which caused him to bellow

and curse till his leaves turned blue

and tears appeared on his leaves like dew 

lying on the ground looking rather dazed

a slimed mousenapping cat looking rather glazed

and beside him a broken broom wearing a pilots hat

“where is my friend the mouse you took mr cat “

i demanded  to know with a inquisitors look

of the slimed and dazed flea bag crook

the cat just shrugged and shook his sore head

this head shaking filled my heart with dread

then from above there came a happy squeak

and there above was my friend i did seek

using my spare nappy as a parachute

he’d bailed out during the pursuit

all was well

all was swell

we talked the villains into starting a new page

by making an honest roasted peanut wage

so now the cat can be found with the broom

sweeping out the giant trees playroom

it was the least they could do for hurting his toe

for the giant tree was a pleasant gentle fellow

i hugged my friend little mouse

and said “shall we return to our house “

“but we haven’t found the stone blue dragon

to capture his drool in your silver flagon

so you can add it to the boogie mans milk at night

so he becomes mellow and doesn’t give you a fright”

“i know little mouse but we are all very weary

my eyes are now behaving very bleary

we can search for the stone blue dragon tomorrow

after we get better directions from the gnome pharaoh”

so we all agreed and the flying mat took us all home

where all fell asleep on top my mattress of honey bee foam

all snuggled in by a blanket woven of moon wool dreams

while under the bed the boogie man silently schemes

 © bg 2011

Recycling Old Contrite

the goblin of perpetual doom 
weaves times green slimy snot 
in his inverted towers soul room 
into ropes with hangman knots 
to dangle memories from at night
like stars glowing with old contrite

the dust man wakes before the light 
his sleigh is ready to reap the trash 
the wicked one casts out from a great height 
bound in sacks so they don’t make a splash 
designer babies from smugglers cave’s 
these are the gifts the dust man saves

the dust man trades with the goblin of doom 
memory tear sacks full of shattered visions 
for bottles of ego boosting rum perfume
to apply in front of mock televisions
to masks the scent from his cardboard pajamas 
stained with urine smoke from his nightmare dramas

replayed as repeated sitcoms at night 
by stars glowing with old contrite

©bg 2012